I hate to divert you away from the pleasures of my arena for even a single moment – especially for such an undeserving cause – but check out filthymess.com for a seriously skewed version of reality. Just who are these haters? Civic-minded, overly conscientious do-gooders trying to foist their ignorance on others, that’s who.
“When your surroundings are a filthy mess someone is responsible” reads their website header. At least we are in agreement there, although I fear we will always be sitting on opposite sides of the table. I feel my fingernails digging into sweaty palms.
I decide to contact the editor of the website and do so as follows. Please note the deliberately friendly tone to catch him/her off guard:
“I’m thrilled to find this website!
It never occurred to me that I would find fellow afficionados of such a specialised subject. My own humble work in this field can be viewed here:
http://myfilthylife.wordpress.com/
Exposing this mess is absoultely essential.
Keep up the good work,
Frank Lee Mesi”
And their reply?
“This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. Delivery to the following recipients failed…”
Whilst I am naturally disappointed by a missed opportunity to spread the gospel, I chuckle to myself as I picture their website collapsing under an avalanche of hatemail. I close my eyes and imagine the entire world’s waste, pouring out of a sluice pipe onto their shitty little website and it’s scrawny little editor, his eye sockets, emptied by rats, filling with the slime and bile of a million putrefying abattoirs.
